


Falling In the Ocean

by LunarAsylum



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Death, Demon Cure, Demon Dean Winchester, Flashbacks, Guilty Dean, Heavy Angst, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Requited Love, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 06:59:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2219856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarAsylum/pseuds/LunarAsylum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has finally discovered a way to cure Dean without killing him, and it's not the safest. But they never considered the consequences of what would happen once Dean could feel again. What would happen when Dean sank into his guilt of all the things that he had done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Prompt: Sand, Plummet, Chronological

 

“Sam! I've finally found a cure!” Castiel shouted joyously as he appeared before the man. Sam nearly jumped out of his skin at that, his eyes wide as he looked at Castiel.

 

“Can you not do that?” he asked, his gaze laced with agitation at being surprised like that. “I—sorry, you startled me. How? What is it?”

 

“It's similar to the ritual you did for the trials, but instead of the blood of a confessed human, you need the blood of a confessed fallen angel,” Castiel said. “It's more potent, and since the Mark is of angelic power, it makes sense.”

 

“Does that mean... you...?” Sam asked, tilting his head slightly as he looked over Castiel.

 

“No, I don't think so. I think any of the angels that have remained on Earth after the fall could work though. But... maybe it might work with me as well, since my Grace is not my own. I'm not sure, Sam,” he said, running a hand through his hair.

 

“I think we should try it with you, Cas. You're the closest thing we've got that's more than willing. We just need to find consecrated ground that we can get Dean to,” Sam said, his face strung tight with anxiety.

 

“That part is the easiest, Sam. I'm more concerned about keeping Dean restrained. While Dean may start out cooperative, he will not end that way,” Castiel said, looking away. “It will not be like it was with Crowley, who slowly became more human. We're talking about negating the effects of something that will stay with him after this is done. And if we succeed, you must know that this can happen again if he were to die a mortal death again. The Mark will not let go of his soul until he passes it on. He will not really die.”

 

Sam set his jaw, nodding tersely that he understood the circumstances.

 

“Once he's human again, we'll just find a way to get rid of the Mark.”

 

Castiel looked over Sam in that moment, knowing that either of them would do whatever they must in order to restore Dean's humanity.

 

“You're sure about this, Cas? If things don't go they way they should, both of us could end up dead.”

 

“Both of us? Sam, it would be much better if you weren't there.”

 

“What?! No, I have to be there!”

 

“Sam, let me be frank. There is the highest chance that I will die while doing this, and it is better that you remain in safety so that if I do not succeed, you can try again. I will teach you how to make the Enochian devil trap so that you know how to completely bind him as well.”

 

Sam frowned, not comfortable with the idea of letting Castiel do this by himself. Especially if Sam being there could make the difference in life or death. He nodded, nonetheless, and agreed to do it Castiel's way. Castiel placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, teleporting them to an abandoned church in the north eastern part of Kansas, about an hour away from Lawrence.

 

“Watch my movement, Sam. This has to be done in a very specific way.”

 

About an hour later, Castiel had deemed the church ready for Dean and Sam set up for a summoning. Castiel had to go grab a few different ingredients that Sam didn't have, since summoning a Knight of Hell took a lot more juice. It took a few moments after finishing the summon for Dean to appear, his eyes obsidian and filled with rage.

 

“Really? Really, guys?” he snapped, his eyes flitting back to their bright apple green color. He inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly as if he really needed to. It seemed old habits died hard.

 

“We found a way, Dean,” Sam said, standing to be level with Dean. “We can cure you.”

 

“And you're under the impression that I want to be cured,” Dean said, stepping to the edge of the trap. “Nice job, Cas, thinking of this.” He motioned to the Enochian trap. It prevented him from doing most of his little tricks, but there were some things it wouldn't stop him from doing ever.

 

“Sam, you need to go,” Castiel said, turning to Sam and ignoring Dean's statement. He placed two fingers on Sam's forehead, returning him to just outside the bunker.

 

“I understand you, Dean. More than you think I can,” Castiel said, taking a spot in front of Dean so that they could have a small conversation before beginning the ritual.

 

“I don't think you really can, Cas.”

 

“No? I think I understand you better than you do, actually, thank you for correcting me.”

 

Dean scoffed at that, his hands balled at his sides. Castiel knew that having this talk was dangerous, but it needed to be had. It was essential that this happened, as he had to confess his sins, both to God, and to those whom he had sinned against.

 

“You see, Dean, you didn't start out as an all-powerful being. You started our mortal, will turmoil that I may never understand in my life-time. But then you became this, and it makes you feel strong, and worthwhile. And that's all you care about, enough so, that you'd do anything not to lose it. I wish I had been like that.

 

I wish that I had not taken myself and my abilities for granted in so many different situations. I understand that you don't want to lose this power you think you have, but Dean, I don't think you understand that it's with you all the time. There is a difference, obviously, in your life status, but I know that's not what you care about.

 

You have never truly cared whether you live or die, as long as you had someone to fight with by your side. As long as you had your strength, you were fine. And you have always had that strength, whether you believe it or not.

 

So I apologize, Dean. I am sorry that I was not there for you when you needed it most, through all these years. I'm sorry that I've failed you when it mattered most. I'm sorry for not being your friend when you needed it.”

 

Castiel pulled out a simple switch blade, flipping open the knife so that he could move forward. Unease settled in his gut as he placed the metal against his flesh, ripping open the skin and watching as red cascaded downwards and to the floor.

 

Replacing his blade to his pocket, he reached forward and grabbed Dean's jaw, pulling his face as far as he could, preventing Dean from struggling with his grasp as he placed his wrist to Dean's mouth, his eyes averted slightly so as not to watch to the scene. Dean struggled against his hand, but Castiel managed to pry his mouth open, his fist balled and causing blood to drip into Dean's mouth.

 

After a few moments, Castiel released him, covering his wrist with his hand and healing himself.

 

“And now we wait,” he said, staring at Dean for a just a moment, taking in the gruesome sight of his blood smeared over Dean's lips and chin. Dean glared with a ferocity like no other, his hand raising to wipe his mouth clean.

 

“You'll be lucky if I don't take your hand from you next time,” he said as Castiel turn his back, moving to take a seat in the chair Sam had suggested.

 

Time passed by incredibly slowly, but each hour differed very little until they reached the later hours, where Dean became increasingly angry and violent, more so than normal. Tiredness ached in Castiel's bones, his whole body exhausted as he stood for the last time, greeted by a pair of black eyes and a bloody face.

 

He pulled out the switch blade again, slicing into his wrist, the familiar feeling of blood leaking from his skin greeting him. He approached Dean who backed away from the edge of the circle, enough so that Castiel knew he'd have to enter the circle this time, which was practically signing his death sentence.

 

“Dean,” he said, in a small attempt to get the demon to approach him.

 

“Come on in,” he said, his black eyes glittering with amusement at Castiel's choice. And so Castiel took a step forward, entering the circle and immediately Dean was upon him, his hand at Castiel's throat. While Dean was strong, Castiel was as strong as he was, and he grabbed Dean's freehand, so that he couldn't prevent him from raising his arm.

 

Raising his wrist towards Dean's face again, Castiel struggled against Dean's grasp, wheezing in attempts to breath until suddenly it all seemed to stop. His wrist lingered against Dean's lips, until the hand that was choking him grabbed it and pulled it away, revealing bright green eyes.

 

Releasing a breath, Castiel felt relief flood through him as he rejoiced internally. He had done it. He had saved Dean Winchester a second time. And then, suddenly and unexpectedly, Dean's lips were against his, and he could taste the sanguine liquid in his own mouth as Dean kissed him. He felt Dean's hand run along his side before disappearing as Dean pulled back.

 

His eyes widened when he saw glittering black eyes staring back at him and a smirk on Dean's face.

 

“Come on, Cas, you should've known it would never be this easy,” Dean said, and then he impaled Castiel with his own angel blade, a sickening silence draping itself over the room. Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but no words could escape. He looked up to Dean's face as he knees buckled, raising his hand covered in his own blood to cover Dean's black eyes.

 

All he had wanted to do was see Dean as he once remembered him.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

I suppose it's true what they say, about your life flashing before your eyes when you die. It's never happened to me before, but then again, each of my deaths have kind of been instantaneous. Not many people or angels, for that matter, can say they've died multiple times. As much of an oddity as it is, I am proud to be able to say that I have died multiple times. I was important enough to resurrect. I was important.

 

And now, here I am, dying by the hands of the man I have sacrificed everything for, over and over again, never expecting anything more than trust. I suppose it's what I deserve for complete and utter trust in a man who was now a demon. Not just any demon, either, but a Knight of Hell. I've seen so many different things with Dean that there was no way I could just abandon him in a time of need, not when I've done so so many times before.

 

Like in Purgatory. Dean had done so much for me in Purgatory, almost sacrificed his freedom to ensure that I made it out alive. I had had mixed emotions when he had first found me there. I had been so happy to just see him alive and well, or as well as he could be for being in Purgatory. And then he had told me his plan to get us out of there, and I just.. I didn't know how to tell him I had no plans of leaving Purgatory.

 

In the end, I never told him until we were at the gate to leave. Telling him to go was the hardest thing I think I've had to do, and I rebelled from Heaven, mind you. I could see the crushing weight on him as, now I know, his mind warped the scene where he felt like he had failed me, and left me behind. It is one of my biggest regrets.

 

Or before any of that had happened, when Dean, Bobby and Sam had caught me in my lie, despite Dean's attempt to remain faithful. Dean had covered up his hurt and pain with anger at that moment, but I could see past it, even despite my deluded vision of power. In that moment, I remember wanting to right my wrongs, but not knowing how. I had wanted to ask Dean for guidance on what to do to regain his trust, but I knew I would receive nothing but skepticism.

 

So I had carried on to my original plan. Another bad decision and a betrayal to Dean.

 

For some reason, I feel something cool on my cheeks, and raise my hand to wipe it away, only to see that it was tears. I've never cried before, not like this. I could see myself and Dean, Dean pleading with me to help him, to help him save Sam from releasing Lucifer. I looked foreign to myself, like a completely different being entirely.

 

I could see my internal struggle between doing what I was told and doing what I wanted to do, which was help Dean. That's been all I've ever wanted to do. It's all I think I've ever done after my initial encounter with Dean. I still don't even know how to appropriately explain why I've done what I've done.

 

Of course, it's always been for Dean, but I don't know why it's always been for Dean. No other human in my charge has ever invoked this kind of change in me, and yet Dean did. Dean had taken my obedience, and threw it in the trash, giving me freedom and the idea that I could think for once. That I could _feel_ for once.

 

I felt a tightening in my chest as the images of rescuing Dean's soul from hell flew across my vision, and it was then that I knew what it really was that provoked all of this, everything that he had done.

 

“Love...”

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Dean let Castiel's body fall to the floor, taking a step back as light beamed from Castiel's mouth and eyes, his body trembling with the power of his death. Dean squinted, before closing his eyes as the light grew too bright, and he felt a wave of angelic power push him back, nearly knocking him over with the force.

 

Opening his eyes after a few moments, he looked down to see black wings scorched across the devil trap, negating it's effects. Castiel's eyes were still open, the shocking blue standing out against the paling skin. And Dean felt.

 

His chest tightened and his eyes burned as he sank to his knees next to Castiel's body. His vision blurred as his eyes roamed over the dead angel, wondering if there was some way this was fake, if there was some way that it was just a ruse.

 

“Cas... you dumb son of a bitch,” he said shakily, his voice incapable of being steady as his hand cupped Castiel's cheek. “You knew and you did it anyway.”

 

Dean felt unsteady as he knelt there, his forehead resting on Castiel's chest, sobs racking his body and echoing throughout the empty room.

 

“Dammit, Cas,” he whispered, his hand curled in the lapel of his coat. “Damn you.”

 

Dean didn't understand why Castiel had decided to do this, when there had been evidence that there was another way to help him. It wasn't a cure, no, but it was a good enough substitute. Cain had taught him that it was more than a good enough substitute if you couldn't change what you were.

 

“You've always done the damnedest things in the name of love, when you didn't have to,” he whispered, as if though Castiel would be able to hear him. “You didn't even think of what this would do to me, what curing me alone would do to me...”

 

Guilt had never weighed heavier on Dean than it did in that moment. In all of the time that Dean had been a hunter, never had a death weight so much on his conscious like wet sand. And now oceans were settling over him, reminding him of all the wrongs he had done, all the mistakes he had made, and now the death of the one he had probably cared most about in this world was his own fault as well.

 

Dean looked to his left and then to his right, spotting the angel blade a foot away. Leaning away from Castiel, he grabbed the blade, his hand shaking as he stared at the blood that adorned the blade.

 

“You were always the one who saved me,” Dean murmured as he placed the tip of blade against his chest. “But this is one time you'd never have been able to do it, Cas. There's too much guilt, too much innocent and wasted blood on my hands. You should've known...you should've known.”

 

Dean took a big breath, releasing it shakily before leaning into the blade, pushing with all the force he could muster, sucking in a pained breath before falling forward against Castiel's body, his own life-force slowly leaving his now human body.

 

Castiel had indeed saved Dean Winchester. Only not in the way that he had assumed he would.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Falling in the Ocean PT.11**

 

“Heya, Sammy,” came the ever familiar phrase, falling on deaf ears as Sam stared at the horrific scene before him. Dean, black eyes piercing through the veil of brown eye lashes, sat quite comfortably on top of Castiel's corpse. A black wing expanded across the floor from beneath Dean's foot, nearly reaching Sam.

 

“What did you do?” Sam asked, his expression full of pain and horror as he looked from the floor up to Dean.

 

“I survived, like I always would. I feel assured he told you that this would happen, again and again,” Dean said, chuckling as he stood from his morbid seat, first blade gripped securely in his hand.

 

“So he cured you?”

 

“For about thirty seconds, before little ol' human me couldn't handle the abundance of guilt,” Dean replied, laughing this time as he twirled the blade with finesse. He motioned to the large stain of blood on the front of his shirt, before withdrawing the angel blade from within his jacket.

 

“See this blood, Sammy? It's the blood of folks who were in love. The one here--” he tapped to his own heart, “and the one here.” He pointed the angel blade down at Cas before throwing it perfectly so that it stabbed straight through Castiel's heart.

 

“The heart is a dangerous thing, Sammy. Y'see, it ruins things,” Dean said, tilting his head to the side a little. “It makes all these emotions pump through you that can just intervene on the fun, and what good is that?”

 

“Emotions keep you from sitting on the man you just murdered,” Sam snapped, an angel blade now in his hand, causing Dean to laugh.

 

“You think you can kill me with that metal stick, Sammy? Go ahead, I dare you. Try it. We've been down this road, Sammy, and you just can't do it and you know why? Because of your _feelings_.”

 

Sam just stood there, his face a mask of anguish and fury as he stared at his brother, or the shell of him. Dean was no longer there, no longer alive, and he had to accept that. It was the only thing that would make all of this easier.

 

“See ya, Sammy. You better hope the next time, I'm not comin' for your head,” Dean said, before vanishing in the silence. Sam let his barriers break as he rushed to Castiel's side, kneeling next to his body as tears cascaded down his face.

 

“Dammit, Cas,” he said, his teeth grinding against themselves as he looked down as his friend. He opted to give Castiel's vessel an appropriate funeral, picking him up and taking him to his car. It was almost a four hour drive back to the bunker and then he would send him off there. 

 

Laying him in the backseat, he circled the car and got in the driver's seat, starting her up and heading out from the church. Two hours into the drive, he had to stop for gas, going inside to pay. When he came back out, he nearly had a heart attack when he saw Castiel sitting up in the back seat, clearly alive.

 

“Dude, what the hell?!” Sam said as he got out of the car.

 

“I don't know, Sam,” Castiel said, looking around.

 

“Where are we?” 

 

“Small town about two hours from Lawrence.”

 

“Where's Dean?”

 

Sam was silent at the question averting his eyes as he pumped gas into his car. He had no idea where Dean had disappeared to.

 

“Sam, where's Dean?”

 

“I don't know. All I know is he was there when I got to the church, using... Never mind. He was there, and we talked a little, and then he was gone.”

 

“So he was still a demon.”

 

“Yeah, but here's the thing, he talked like you had actually cured him. He said something about you and him being in love or something,” Sam said, arching an eyebrow as Castiel looked away. 

 

“Cas?”

 

“I didn't understand that's what it was,” the shorter man said after a few moments, still not turning his gaze back to Sam. “But he said both of us?”

 

“Yeah, but what does that matter?”

 

“Sam, that's the key. That's what restored Cain's humanity all those years ago. It's a much more permanent, this cure, especially with what you two do,” Castiel said, looking back at Sam with a renewed vigor. “We need to find Dean, Sam.”

 

“Yeah, I'll get right on that. We have the entirety of the world to search,” Sam replied sarcastically. Heaving a sigh, Sam ran a hand over his face as he looked at Cas. “Where do we even start?”

 

“Same kinds of signs you'd look for for demon activity. Stronger, actually. I figure it'd be best to go back to the bunker and get ourselves sorted out first,” Castiel said, gazing at their surroundings. “It'd be better to hide the fact that I'm alive for now. The less Dean knows, the better it'll be for us when we finally find him.”

 

Sam nodded, agreeing with that idea. It gave them an edge when it came to tracking down the Knight of Hell, and that was the best they could hope for. Castiel joined him up front as they both got back in the car and headed out to the bunker. 

 

The next couple of months met them with dead ends and false leads in their search for Dean. Hunt after hunt lead them down roads that took them backwards instead of forwards, only making things more frustrating. Castiel was doing his best to assist Sam in the hunts without using his angelic powers for fear of catching Dean's attention. 

 

A couple of weeks later, they finally got a solid lead on Dean. A fellow hunter had given Sam a call, telling him that he had spotted Dean in Wichita Falls, in Texas. 

 

“Any idea what he's doing out there?” Sam asked, and Castiel could barely hear the garbled response that Sam received over the receiver.

 

“Yeah, great, thanks again, Bill. Yeah, sure thing,” Sam said, before hanging up and looking over at the angel. “Should we take the quick way?”

 

Castiel stared at him as he debated his answer. He honestly didn't know whether or not it'd be a good idea to fly there. 

 

“It might alert Dean to our arrival if we do, but we can't guarantee he'll still be there if you drive,” Castiel said, approaching Sam. “Are you ready to leave now?”

 

“Not quite, let me grab a couple of things,” Sam said, rushing off to gather things into a duffel bag. The angel watched as Sam tossed things in haphazardly, before zipping up and shouldering the bag. He nodded at Castiel and the shorter man approached him, setting his hand on Sam's shoulder before they disappeared from Lebanon, Kansas and appeared in Wichita Falls, Texas.

 

From Castiel's knowledge, Wichita Falls was an average city with expansive woods and land, but very little to do unless in the main part of the city. He would lay down his life to bet that Dean was somewhere in the city. 

 

“So where do we start?” he asked Sam, looking over at the Winchester. 

 

“My guess? A bar. Or a strip club.”

 

“Guys, _guys_ , come on now, really? Is that what you think I do with _all_ my time? Fuck strippers and get buzzed?” came a voice from behind them, causing Sam to tense.

 

“Nice to see you up and walkin', Cas. Always were God's favorite, and he can't seem to let you go,” Dean said, chuckling lightly as he glanced at the two. “Next time, if you wanted to find me, you could just, y'know, summon me.”

 

“We didn't want you to know--”

 

“That you were alive right? Cas, I knew you were alive the moment you popped back up in Sammy's backseat. I have eyes everywhere. You know, Hell follows Crowley, but they _fear_ me. They'll do what I ask them over what Crowley demands any day.”

 

“Dean--”

 

“Save it, Loverboy. The humanity can't hear you,” Dean cut Castiel off, folding his arms over his chest. “So what exactly do you guys want? I got a lot of girls to pillage and I'd rather not be cock-blocked by you two. Oh, wait, that's right, you want to _save_ me. What exactly are you saving me from? Myself? Cause let me explain something to make sure we're clear here. 

 

If you, for some Satan forsaken reason, decide to, once again, try and restore the humanity that's tucked very,  _very_ far away in here--” he tapped his chest, “--the guilt will rip it apart, again and again and we'll end up right back here. Well, not right here, but this moment. 

 

So, again, what are you trying to save me from? Because right now, I'm the only thing keeping myself standing, and I like it that way.”

 

Neither Sam nor Castiel had a thing to say to that. The angel could even agree that the demon had a point, and perhaps that  _was_ the point.

 

“Dean, we're not here to take the demon out of you, we're here to try and recreate what Cain had,” Castiel said, taking a step forward.

 

Dean scoffed at that, grinning at Castiel.

 

“What, with you? Please,” he said, laughing at that. “What, you think that you're enough to do that, when Sammy wasn't?”

 

“Brotherly love was what put Cain in that situation to begin with, Dean. It was the love of another that helped him. Dean...”

 

Dean's expression was displeased at that moment, a quiet rage boiling behind his eyes. The brunette took a step towards the demon, trying to catch his eyes. 

 

“Dean, I don't care what you've done. I don't care whom you've hurt, or whatever mayhem you've caused, because I know. I know what power does to you. Dean, I lo--”

 

Dean was gone before Castiel could even finish speaking, stopping him mid-sentence as he stared into nothingness. Heaving a sigh, the angel turned back to Sam with a disappointed expression. 

 

“Let's go, Sam,” he said, placing a hand on his shoulder and taking them back to the bunker. The angel sauntered to his designated room, not stopping to chat with Sam who had a million questions running through his mind.

 

He knew what experience that Castiel was speaking from, he was sure all three of them did, but the expression that had been on Dean's face before he disappeared and put him at mortified by Castiel's words.

 

The Winchester ran a hand through his hair, plopping down into a seat as pondered what to do next. There had to be a way for them to save Dean from himself. So Sam sank into research, while Castiel fell into a depression, rarely leaving his room to do anything that to ask Sam if there was any news. 

 

This was their life for nearly a month more, until one day, when Sam's phone rang, vibrating wildly on the table, and the caller ID read Dean's name.”

 

“CAS! CAS! It's Dean!” he shouted, before clearing his throat and answering the phone.

 

“Dean!” he said, his voice probably sounding eager than it should have.

 

“S-Sammy,” came a weak and cracked voice on the other line, invoking a tidal wave of fear over his brother. 

 

“Dean, what's wrong? What's going on?!”

 

“Sammy... I'm dyin'.”

 

“What?! Dean, how? Where are you?”

 

“Cain. I told Cain... I'd come back when... he wanted to die.”

 

A cough echoed on the receiver, and Sam could tell that Dean didn't have too much longer.

 

“Dean, where are you?!” he asked frantically, seeing Castiel enter the room with wide eyes.

 

“Cain's.”

 

“Where does Cain live?”

 

“Jasper Springs... Mississippi. Bee farm.”

 

Castiel must have heard that as his hand was on Sam's shoulder and they were no longer in the bunker. They both rushed towards the house where they could only assume that Dean was. Sam found Dean first, calling for Castiel as he knelt next to his brother. Dean was extremely pale, blood vibrant on his lips as he looked up at them.

 

He gave them a small smile, before coughing, more red decorating his face.

 

“Turns out, you cut the head off, the body flounders,” Dean said, chuckling lightly as he looked up at Cas. “I think he knew, when he gave me the mark. He told me he wanted me to kill him, and I think he knew it'd kill me, too.”

 

“You're not gunna die, Dean,” Sam said, tears sliding down his cheeks and he cradled Dean in his lap. “You can't die.”

 

“It's better this way, Sammy. I don't have to live with it; all the memories of being a monster, of the people I hurt. It's so much easier this way.”

 

Sam was silently sobbing by this point, his vision too blurry with tears to really see Dean.

 

“Hey, Cas. You take care of my brother, you hear? You make sure he doesn't get into any trouble.”

 

Castiel's chest was tight with emotion, making breathing difficult. He nodded, unable to produce words from his mouth for fear he might croak it out instead of speak. 

 

“You take care of yourself, too. Even if this part of me couldn't respond, this part of me still knows. I was still him, y'know,” he said, giving Castiel a smile. The angel inhaled shakily, trying to keep himself steady as he watched over Dean. 

 

“I love you, too, Cas.”

 

That was what pushed Castiel overboard, tears spilling from his eyes as he sank to his knees at Dean's feet. His face was soaked within a matter of seconds as he looked up at the shorter Winchester who offered him a smile.

 

“Don't cry over me, Cas. I ain't worth it.”

 

“You've always been worth it, Dean, especially to me,” he managed to get out as he wiped his face with the back of his hand. A hand reached out to Castiel, and he took it, feeling Dean squeeze his hand. 

 

“Then don't cry for me,” Dean murmured, and a moment later his hand fell lax in Castiel's grip, which only tightened as anguish surged through him. Sam flinched as a sudden explosion of light bulbs shattered around them, causing him to look over at the angel. He was doubled over, sobs shaking his body as he held on to Dean's limp hand. 

 

The two men sat there, mourning the loss of a brother and a best friend, Sam being the first to move of the two.

 

“Cas, we gotta burn him,” he said quietly, and he winced at the face that looked up at him. Castiel looked awful, his face red and streaked, his eyes bloodshot. 

 

“Right...” he responded quietly, releasing Dean's hand, but not moving to get up. Sam leaned over to shift Dean's weight, picking him up with a little difficulty. Nudging Castiel with his foot, he got the angel up and had him follow him. Fortunately, Cain had the supplies for them to build a pyre and they had it finished within the hour. 

 

Sam was the one to carry out the ceremony, tears still cascading down Castiel's face as he watched. Soon, a fire blazed before them, at the tightness in the angel's chest didn't lessen as he watched Dean disappear in flames.

 

It was that day that Castiel returned to heaven, unable to cope with the loss that humanity faced day-to-day. The loss of Dean Winchester followed him every day and in everything that he did, but he did it all in the name of Dean Winchester.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thanks to all who read this! I didn't anticipate for it to two into a two chapter story, but that's what happened. I have to say that I'm really proud of this story, and I hope you all enjoyed it!


End file.
